Bella Hadid, Meghan Markle, Penelope Cruz, Finneas O’Connell, Lizzo – Stars, they’re just like us…when it comes to dealing with imposter syndrome.
The feeling you experience when you question your qualifications or are uncomfortable moving up resonates with many of us – it afflicts nearly a third of America’s population, disproportionately women, minority groups and high-achieving people – and is something people often deal with quietly. So we’re here to be a sounding board for something that can nag so loud in the backs of our minds, but which is still not widely accepted.
With all the thoughts that cycle through our heads throughout a single day (more than 6,000, according to a 2020 study), it can feel incredibly crowded to guess what others are thinking, too. The sickening wave of self-doubt that comes from suspecting, Do they like me? Do they think I’m too much? and Will they see through me?, further disguises us from proudly embodying our true selves. In fact, the people around you are not thinking about you nearly as much as they are about themselves.
It’s wondering whether you belong; it’s self-questioning what you deserve; it’s worrying your true self will be found out… It’s fear of personal success!
As self-worth is equated with achievement and validation in the perception of others, some people pursue their goals to prove that they are capable. This is a ‘less-than’ mentality that stems from a distrustful inner voice. Another way to try it: pursue your goals from a place of, “I know I am capable.”
Say it out loud. Instead of feeling caged in the mental-trap of insecurity, practice affirmations or sharing your wins with people who cheer you on. Their excitement will inspire you, and you’ll do the same for them. If you’re alone, try affirmations that will unlock your mental block:
“I am here for a reason.”
“I have earned my seat at the table.”
“I trust myself.”
If this is new to you, it might feel unnatural and will be something you have to work on. They’ll force you to reframe your thoughts. Affirmations like these confront your discomfort in recognizing how hard you try and how great you are.
Emma Chamberlain, YouTuber-turned-Gen Z Internet sensation, is someone who has risen to fame predominately for her fearless openness, and has always been vocal about mental health. Speaking on imposter syndrome, which she suffers from, she said in her podcast Anything Goes, “I constantly feel like I am undeserving of my accomplishments. I feel like I somehow cheated to get where I am.”
Her advice is to treat yourself like you would a friend. You would want to celebrate your friend’s wins, acknowledging how hard they worked to succeed and encouraging them to keep going. It wouldn’t even cross your mind to tame their joy. Through someone else’s lens, you will feel more emboldened to root for yourself.
It’s more common than you would think – largely because the mental phenomenon comes with a supercharged feeling of isolation, with an inward-looking lens. Being afraid of your own success, or inching out of your comfort zone, can rattle your foundation – at first. While there’s no known cure, the main remedy for this clinically-sounding distress is to be aware. Find what sticks and lean into that.
