Have you ever eaten something spicy?
There are different kinds of spice. Some foods will hit you right away, then the spice quickly fades. Others build, at first lulling you into thinking “this isn’t so bad” and eating more, then suddenly you’re crying and chugging the nearest cold beverage. And having gone down the internet rabbit hole on this one, I now know that this dynamic is impacted not only by different types of chemical compounds found in spicy foods themselves but also by their interactions with the other ingredients. Our nervous systems actually work in much the same way.
As humans evolved over the last ~6 million years, we became incredibly good at handling acute bouts of stress, such as sprinting from predators or fighting off aggressors. When we sense a threat, our bodies automatically trigger a response from our sympathetic nervous system to help us get out of the situation. This is a great thing, else many of our ancestors would have been eaten. But we weren’t designed to run in high gear indefinitely – that’s what machines were designed to do. And even machines overheat and break down eventually. Yet in modern society, this “always on” mode is what many of us are constantly demanding from our nervous systems. And as this leads to chronic stress, we too break down and lose our way.
The cost of failing to address chronic stress in our lives can be dire – disease, poor productivity, strained relationships, and mood disorders just to name a few. And like that slow-building spice, it can creep up on you. Conversely, learning to cultivate awareness and actively manage stress can unlock greater health, success, and happiness.
So what can we do about it? Most of us aren’t going to start living outside of modern capitalist society, nor should that necessarily be the goal. But if we accept that we will continue managing outside demands and obligations, we can turn our focus to what is within our influence. For example, if you’re feeling underappreciated in your job or your relationship, you have a range of options for how to perceive and respond to that stress. That may include actions such as leaving, but it’s not the only option. And external action alone doesn’t always solve the problem long-term – we can get stuck repeating the cycle in our next job or relationship if we don’t also do the internal work.
I do a lot of work with clients on developing awareness and shifting their perspectives on where they’re currently at. I’ve seen clients go from burned out, insecure, unproductive, and miserable to flourishing and calm when they changed their internal paradigm, whether or not they dramatically changed their outward circumstances.
Here’s a simple but powerful tool you can use – all on your own, starting today – to improve your own ability to thrive and handle stress: breathwork.
Each exercise can be done in a minute or two when you need to calm down your nervous system on the fly, and they’re also powerful as regular practices to develop your resilience and stress tolerance.
Box Breathing
This is my go-to for clients who are just starting to explore breathwork. It’s super simple and a great way to ground yourself in just a minute or two. Several of my clients have made this practice a ritual before important conversations, interviews, etc.
Technique: Breathe in for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4, breathe out for a count of 4, hold for a count of 4. With practice, you can extend the counts.
Physiological Sigh
For the Huberman Lab fans out there, he’s a big proponent of this one. His research has shown that even doing it just 1-3 times can lower stress, making it remarkably efficient. There’s also more research coming out on the long-term impact from practicing it daily.
Technique: Two inhales through your nose followed by a slow, extended exhale through your mouth. Typically, your second inhale is smaller than the first (like a top-up to fully inflate your lungs).
Five-Finger Breathing
For those who benefit from doing something active to help focus their minds, try repeating a simple mantra as you touch each finger to your thumb. It’s a great way to lead you back into your body when you’re feeling fragmented or unable to focus.
Technique: Pick a 4-word mantra. Touch your pointer fingers to your thumbs while you say the first word in your mantra, then continue down to end with your pinkies touching your thumbs for the last word. It can help to close your eyes and focus on the sensation in your fingertips as you ground yourself in the mantra.
Pick whatever mantra works for you, but here are a few ideas: I am here now, I can create change, This too shall pass, I am fully alive, My heart guides me, I am at peace.
A tip for those of us who struggle with anxiety – we often need to burn off some energy before we can settle into a breathing or meditation practice. You may find that vigorous physical activity – whether that’s a full workout or a few jumping jacks – gives you a better gateway in.
Invest in Your Best
Sign up for free to find the perfect coach and navigate work and life as your best self — no credit card required.
