Listening isn’t always easy. It requires willingness, time, and attention even before you can apply your skills. To become a brilliant listener, consider how these elements influence your listening capacity.
Willingness
You have to want to be present with someone to listen well. When you are unwilling, poor information exchange and frustration can result. Willingness sets the foundation for effective communication, showing your speaker that you value their words and thoughts.
Time
Listening takes time. It means setting aside all other tasks and thoughts of the moment, making the person who is speaking your primary concern. By dedicating time to listen, you show respect and create a space where meaningful dialogue can occur.
Attention
Attention is the level of concentration and focus you bring to the speaker. It helps us “hear” and “sense” the information and emotions being communicated. Giving your full attention to the speaker enhances understanding and fosters a deeper connection.
Listen Attentively: Practice, Practice, Practice
Practice and Reflect
Like any skill, we get better at listening through repeated practice. Commit to practicing some or all of these behaviors to become more brilliant at listening:
- Be Curious: Be open to learning what others have to share.
- Show You Are Listening with Your Body: Give eye contact, nod appropriately, and face the speaker.
- Stop Other Activity While Listening: Avoid multitasking, including talking.
- Listen for Understanding, Not Agreement: You need not agree with the speaker, but let them complete their thoughts as you take them in.
- Paraphrase Content & Feelings Shared: Use phrases like, “So, what I am hearing is…”
- Ask Clarifying Questions: Use questions like, “Can you tell me more about…”
- Note Tone & Body Language: Pay attention to what is not being said.
Pick one behavior from the list above and practice it in conversation with someone. Be conscious of applying the new behavior as you listen. Afterward, reflect on the impact:
- What effect did practicing this behavior have on your speaker?
- How did it enhance your listening?
Improving your listening capacity involves a willingness to be present, dedicating time, and offering full attention to the speaker. By practicing these behaviors, you can enhance your listening skills, leading to better communication and stronger relationships.
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